Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
