I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
