White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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