Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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