You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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