I didn't shave. On purpose
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
