She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize