There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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