I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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