I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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