Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
