My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
