I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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