Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
