I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
