I wish my penis had an off switch
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize