You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
