I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
