May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
