Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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