Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
