its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
