her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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