I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
