How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
