I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
