i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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