I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
