I'm sorry my penis didn't work
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
