i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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