Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
