I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
