I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
