I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
