So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
