uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
