all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
