I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So vagazzling was a success
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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