im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
