I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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