I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Please, let me fuck your mom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
