I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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