It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
