i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
