i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They have beer where we have blood.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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