So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
