It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
