ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
