Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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