I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
