dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This house was built for laser tag.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize