Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
