how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
