I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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