Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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