I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
