At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
