so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are we still banned from the library?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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