It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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