we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
