Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Enjoy the penises
Drunk is not a location!
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