you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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