not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
