What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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