he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize