She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
