The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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