I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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