and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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