Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
