And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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