just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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