Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
