it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize