they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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